Sorry for the lack of any form of updates on here, I just haven't had the time or if I do, no motivation.
Anyways, things are still looking really weird at this point. I'm finally beginning to be happy, though not necessarily with where I'm at. I'm still struggling to find what God really wants for me, and the more I think I'm starting to find it, the more He seems to be taking things away again. For instance, San Jose State was where I thought God was calling me, and I tried really hard to work on getting there, but that's failed. So now I'm striving for Southern Oregon University (the first college I was originally going to go to until I visited APU), and everything was fine. Until I found out that I won't be able to get my transcripts from APU until we've payed off what we owe..... and we can't pay what we owe.....
So once again I'm at a total loss as to where the heck I'm supposed to be and what the heck I should be doing. And to add complications and confusion to this situation, my ex told me that I should move on. Ok, great. Yeah, it hurts, but I should try. And I have. I've tried everything I can think of (that doesn't cross my morals and values of course) but the more I try to get over him, the more I'm finding I'm falling for him. We still talk every now and again, we agreed to be friends, and a lot of the things he says make me fall for him all over again. And he's becoming more attractive as I see God shining through him, making him into an amazing young man of faith.
AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So please pray for clarity. I'm so confused and the more I'm searching the more I end up waiting. That's all my life seems to be right now is waiting. And I'm tired. I'm tired of waiting, I'm tired of having so many dreams that are giving me mixed answers. I'm so tired of having dreams and goals, but finding out that none of them can actually come true. I really only have one left, and at this point that one doesn't seem to be happening either. (I'm not saying it here for various reasons. I kinda have just come to the point where I want to keep this one last hope to myself. Sounds a little pitiful and pretty pessimistic, I know, but this is the point I've come to.)

*sigh*
Why can't life be a little more simple? I've always been told that as a Christian life wasn't going to be easy, yes, but I was also told that God would reveal His plans to me. Well... what are His plans? I've only been waiting, listening, reading my bible, praying, learning, and working a full schedule with work and school. But still there's no answer. Nor do I see an end in sight.
This is my update for you all. I'm sorry I haven't posted any of my new artwork. I do have a lot, I just haven't found the heart to actually post it. And I'm trying to write more of Hope Reins, but I've lost a little heart in that too because of the breakup. Things will start showing up again soon though I hope. ^^ I'm drawing a TON lately, so there will be lots of things posted when they finally are! Stay tuned!!